In the eyes of a gray
by Myske
Summary: as the title suggests, I rediscovered a fic I wrote a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away-sorry got carried away there) and decided to write the lost chapters... so the first five will be *rewriten* chappies and the others are the original, till after
1. Prime 388

Disclaimer: X-files does not (definitely not) belong to me. If I did perchance own the X-files, do you think that I would allow my talent to languish here for free on the internet? . yes? Well you're darn right!!  
  
A/N. this is a really old fic that I found, I wrote it a couple of years ago and lost the first few chapters so these are my re-writes of them, (I only lost five out of nine), so bear with me, and reviews whether they be flames to light my hearth or warming comment to blanket me in my sleep are definitely welcome.  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings Earthlings and fellow Grays. I am prime 388. Today is my first day in the job. This is so as yesterday I was prime 389, I was promoted as the real prime 388 swallowed some bees and did not complete his ass. I mean ssignment. My new partner is prime 387. She is taller than me and she likes to push me off the ramp of our disguised mother ship. I have never been outside the mother ship before and today I saw that the disguise that we used was a device that the humans called a blimp. In finding that out I finally understood why there were annoying birds with pointy beaks in my quarters all the time.  
  
Today, as it was my first day in the job, prime 1 told prime 387 to show me the ropes. I wondered what types of ropes I would be seeing and if I would get to tie knots in them. I have a very extensive knowledge in those things. When I asked this of the primes they kicked my legs from under me. I don't think that they understood what I meant.  
  
As I got up, prime 1 said that I was an idiot and explained in monosylabic words... That's words with one sylable for some of the grays who don't know what that means. I'm especially talking to prime 17, who is... to the human standard... slow.  
  
After we left the blimp, prime 387 started to be nicer to me. We were in a country called Frank, I think. I am not very good with geography. She said that I should learn the customs of the world and with that she picked up a snail on the ground and ripped its shell off. I dislike snails but I wouldn't have ripped its shell off, that is mean.  
  
Anyway, prime 387 looked me in the eye and told me to eat it. I was astonished and scared so I ran away. I ran three steps before tripping over my human outfit. I fell flat on my face and so the human nose got broken, I was very lucky that I myself have no nose or it might have hurt me.  
  
Prime 387 advanced upon me with the snail squirming in her hand. I yelled and cried for her not to put the snail in my mouth and I attracted a bit of attention from other humans, but they thought that I was insane because they could not see prime 387. She was in the invisible suit. The humans left and prime 387 told me that I had to eat the snail and she had to film it so that prime 1 and 2 would know that I was completing the assignment.  
  
I told her that our assignment was to make agents Mulder and Scully know that grays existed. She told me to shut up and pried open my shut mouth with her long fingers, then forced in the snail. I wimpered as the snail wiggled around in my mouth. She told me to chew and swallow it quickly so we could get onto the next task. I did so as anything would be better than eating a snail.  
  
The rest of the day was indeed better, except when I was swallowed by an alligator. That happened to be our last task for the day. Prime 387 said that I had to have training in wrestling alligators because the colonist aliens could turn into them. To do this task I had to kidnap an alligator from the zoo. Unfortunately I have to re do the task as the 'alligator' seemed to have crocodile DNA. How was I to know?  
  
I was dinner time when I recieved the worst shock in my foot... if that is indeed how humans put it. Prime 2 said that he was very pleased with the work that I had done and I told him that I had not done any yet, he just laughed.  
  
As the grays were just getting ready to scoff down the meals prepared a giant screen lowers onto the ground from the ceiling. The grays in the coreography department were doing their jobs well. A giant image of a gray flickered onto the screen, in an instant the gray started to cry and yell, in that same instant I realised that that gray was myself. All the other grays were laughing.  
  
The rest of the dinner period was eaten with my eyes lowered. My usually grey face was stained green. The grays closest to me moved away as they thought I was turning into a colonist. Even though that was not possible as gray physiology was not compatible with colonist physiology and attempting to turn into a colonist would only give me gas.  
  
When I was sitting in my quarters tonight purple tears stained my face and I reached the conclusion that I should stop staining my tear glands just to make them look attractive. I wiped the tears away and only succeeded in turning my whole arm purple. Eventually I was covered in purple. I was reaching for a tissue to wipe the colour off me as I was now to intent on removing the colour than in crying.  
  
Prime 1, 2 and 387 came into the room holding something small behind their back. I asked them why they were here and they said that they were here because they wanted me to stop feeling like a wanker. I asked them what a 'wanker' was and they laughed. They still didn't answer me though.  
  
After a while prime 1 produced a small figurine of a gray and placed it on the table. I asked him why he did that. He said that the gray was so that I would have someone to talk to so that I would stop talking to myself. He said that my talking to myself out loud was scaring the shit out of him. I told him that his shit was not running away from him as there was indeed no shit in the room. Prime 1 glared and told me it was a figure of speech. Then they all left and left me alone with the gray which was beginning to glow. I heard laughing in the corridor as I covered the gray with a dish cloth so that it would not disturb me in my sleep.  
END OF EPISODE ONE.  
  
A/N. I hope you know that I feel anguish whenever I put something on for public display. please review so that I know someone out there is reading this stupid dumb fic, if that's what you think write it. please ;). Oh the added bonus is that if you don't review this, and you happen to read the next chappie, (because you feel sorry for my pathetic-ness) you will get semi self righteous flames from me, see, to me, that's not how it should work, so save yourself the embarrassment and review. Thanx. 


	2. outdated

Disclaimer: you know the drill? Well, apart from not owning "The X-files", I don't own the drill either. Hehe, I got you all. eeeeehehhehe mwahahaha. well, sorry for that evil outburst, here's the story.  
  
Enjoy, and let me know that you did by reviewing, hehe.  
  
A/N: thanks for the whole 1 review. I really appreciate that, it's what keeps me motivated, so at the end, help me stay motivated and happy and review. (thanks dana_maru, you rule- see that even kinda rhymes. not really).  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings Earthlings and fellow Grays. I am prime 388 and my partner is prime 387. Prime 387 is the female of our species and unlike most other females she has achieved a rank in our military. Our assignment is to prove to agents Mulder and Scully that Grays really do exist.  
  
In evaluating the weeks that have gone past I realise that our tactics are useless and outdated.  
  
Just last week we tried to tell agents Mulder and Scully that Grays really do exist. We did tell them. Only to do so we had to get them into a situation and time that no one else would know about.  
  
We achieved this by placing two corpses side by side in a marsh. In reality they were only people who had gone wrong in our gene vats... I was hoping we could use Diana Fowley but she'd escaped a long time ago... getting her would waste too much time. The other problem with her was that she might do the scream-y thing.  
  
Anyway, we explained ourselves to them... They were fascinated. We were greatful, until they were rescued from what the other agents deemed 'a deadly acidic marsh'. Then they thought that everything we had told them was a mere misunderstanding. If that were so would it not have been strange that they witnessed the same thing? Idiots.  
  
Speaking of idiots, I called them (agents Mulder and Scully) that today while I was dressed up in my human outfit. Unfortunately the word was accompanied by other words and I tripped over the human suit again... Prime 387 said that it was lucky that I got away with only broken legs and ribs. I disagree.  
  
Although this week has been thoroughly disappointing we did manage to get some decent dinner. Yesterday we ate a giant bull. The meal was good and the cooks seemed to enjoy it as they were covered with bandages, slings and casts. They seemed to be in pain, yet they scoffed down the meal... raw.  
  
Tonight I witnessed something truly gratifying.  
  
I had learnt about global anomalies and therefore I thought that with my knowledge of this and prime 387 by my side instructing me I would be fine. However my judgement proved to be grossly wrong.  
  
Tonight I went to witness my first crop circle being constructed. It was a true coming of age moment. A night of art and magic as all different races of aliens got together and made a crop circle to piss farmers off.  
  
Prime 387 said that the only aliens who got to come out to one of these events were ones that had really pissed their bosses off. When she had finished saying this she left with prime 35 to go back to headquarters and I was stranded alone, with a group of colonist aliens closing in on me.  
  
The alien that seemed to be the leader of the group reached out and shook my hand and I shrieked. It's gloppy goo got all inside my shirt and began to find ways into my body. Luckily for me, once the goo realised that I was a Gray it decided that it didn't like me as much and left, finding it better in the body of an earthworm. Then in turn, the earthworm bit me. I don't know how.  
  
As the night progressed, the forming of the crop circle began. 89 aliens formed a line and joined hands. I was confused as to the reason why the Toelelemed didn't join this line and felt inclined to ask the Crakfeeler alien next to me, but I did not want to be called an arse crack again.  
  
The Toelelemed alien is a worm-like creature, he walked over to us on his puny legs and lay down in front of the line. He exploded! When the alien had finished his bouts of explosion the rest of the aliens unhid their faces. I did not thing to hide mine and therefore had alien phlegm all over me... the Toelelemed, it seems, was allergic to wheat.  
  
Anyway, the alien had swollen up to a considerable size and as the aliens around me started to roll the bloated alien around I followed suit.  
  
It was my first crop circle, I remember thinking as I walked back to the space ship, which was still disguised as a blimp. When I knocked on the hatch it did not slide open as it usually did. I knocked in a different pass knock... maybe prime 1 had changed it. The second did not work. I tried a third time, this time knocking out a child's nursery rhyme "Little Miss Stuffit". Unfortunately this did not work and the three strikes system -which I had been unaware of- "kicked in" and kneed me in the groin. A shoe from the neighbour's yard also flew at my head.  
  
Finally a half hour later as I was still on the ground undecided as to clutch my pained head or my pained groin prime 18 came out. He told me to 'take a hike' in an angry tone. Before I knew what I was saying I told him that I had, and that's why I was late and had gotten kicked in the groin and smacked on the head.  
  
It turns out that prime 18 was not happy about what I had said because he would not let me get up, he just dragged me into the blimp and made me sleep in the reception room.  
  
In the morning prime 3 arrived from his previous base and stepped on me by accident, as he claimed he could not see me at his feet because he never looks down.  
  
After the initial pain subsided I go back to my quarters to the glowing toy that the primes had given me after my promotion. It had stopped glowing and had gotten larger. I can't recall any toy in our history which did that.  
  
When I began to lie back in my bed, there was a wailing in my room, and it wasn't me. I was shocked to see the toy move around. I took off the dish cloth to see a younger version of a Gray. I screamed and began to run around my quarters. The fools had given me a child! I could have kept running the whole day but a low hanging piece of wood caught me on the head and knocked me out.  
  
When I later awoke in the infirmary the child was sitting on my chest playing with my standard issue laser beam. I panicked and threw the child off me. The beam hit me on the head and the child wailed. The nurses came it and slapped me I wondered why. They took the weapon away and said that I shouldn't train weapons on children. I protested that I was not, but to no avail as more nurses rushed in to the room and fired bouts of abuse at me before sending me to my quarters again. With the child, who was a girl Gray.  
  
Prime 387 was delighted at the birth of the child. So I told her that if she liked it so much she could have it.  
  
She slapped me and left the room. I have discovered that it is impossible to give a child away after it has been born. It was just rude to the people involved, so I had given up. It will only take the child a few weeks to develop into a mature Gray I discovered.  
  
Maybe I could get rid of it faster before the few weeks are up...  
END OF EPISODE TWO  
  
A/N:. Well, now that you've read the stuff, don't you think you should review hint, hint? Hehe. Oh, by the way, the added bonus is that if you don't review this, and you happen to read the next chappie, (because you feel sorry for my pathetic-ness) you will get semi self righteous flames from me. See, to me (somewhere in my evil mastermind plan), that's not how it should work, so save yourself the embarrassment and review. Thanx. 


	3. dgray

A/N. at this point in time, I, as a writer (albeit a bad one at that) begin to wonder whether or not I should continue. only two KIND and LOVING people have reviewed. Then I think, what if only two people are reading this piece of rubbish? Huh. you know, this seemed like a very funny piece of writing when I wrote it all those years ago. maybe that's just me, but if you do happen to be reading or beginning to read this, enjoy and review, and I'll think about making these author's gibberish bits a li'l shorter. haha.  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings fellow earthbeings-  
  
-they're not your fellows father.  
  
OW! Don't it me child! It is painful and will cause me to be cumbersome for a few days!  
  
-Father Gray you are always cumbersome... and they are not earth beings!  
  
This is my transcript and I will call them what I will! Now I will proceed to begin my transcript again.  
  
Greetings, EARTHLINGS, as you may or may not know I am Prime 388, and it is my mission to keep FBI Agents Mulder and Scully convinced that extra terrestrials or EBE's exist. These subsequent transcripts are the reports of each of our missions. And the annoying child gray is my daughter gray.  
  
Alright how was that, d-gray?  
  
-Father, extra terrestrials are called ET's, EBE's are extra terrestrial-  
  
That's what I said, d-gray!  
  
-No! Father, Extra terrestrial Biological Entities!  
  
fine, I'll just start again!  
  
Greetings, symbiotic earthlings with whom we share this world of abundant Shregon resources-  
  
-FATHER! THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SHREGON RESOURCES!!!  
  
Oh dear...  
  
-Start again father!!  
  
Greetings, earthlings, as you know I am Prime 388, my partner is Prime 387, she is a female of our species and our mission is to keep FBI Agents Mulder and Scully believing that extra terrestrials exist. So far we have we have been struck with a series of bad muck, as I think it is refered to. What follows is a report of the events, which take place on each mission. This is my third mission.  
  
Was that better, d-gray?  
  
-No.  
  
Why did you not stop me then?  
  
-I was too embarrassed Father Gray.  
  
Good.  
  
-No it's not.  
  
Be quiet then, and don't speak until you are spoken to.  
  
-hm!  
  
Whatever D-gray.  
  
-Father tell be a bedtime story.  
  
My mission report is NOT a BEDTIME story!!!  
  
-Just tell me a story then!  
  
It's my mission report!!!  
  
-Okay Father...  
  
*clearing throat* The mission that Prime 387 and I had planned was going to be perfect. It would reveal to Agents Mulder and Scully, our existence and would therefore 'tin' the plan of the colonists which was keeping the knowledge of all our existences under 'diapers', as you humans put it.  
  
Our plan was simple, we would pose as a human couple, write to the FBI headquarters and request for assistance in our wild beast problem.  
  
Needless to say, our plan failed.  
  
The FBI did not respond. They sent the wild beast division of the zoo to our 'resident' and they proceeded to 'hunt' our wild beast.  
  
Unfortunately we had no real "beast" as the gene vat could not create one in time. The costume division however had come up with a costume.  
  
As I did not know that the Wild beast division of the zoo had arrived, I had progressed to dress in the suit of the wild beast. As soon as I heard the front door of our 'hocus' resident close, I yelled just as I thought a wild beast would yell.  
  
All at once the back door of the house screamed open! I noticed that our FBI Agents were not Mulder or Scully and that they were dressed as members of the wild beast division. As soon as they saw me they began to charge.  
  
As an afterthought I am brainally enlightened to the fact that they had no weapons that I could see. However my sweat glands were working overtime and therefor the suit was drenched in water and sticking to me. In 'long', I looked like a starved yeti.  
  
To continue the report. I ran and ran into the forest, but I am a gray.  
  
Being so, causes me to be about half the height of an earthling, and it also allows the well built humans to gain relentlessly on me.  
  
At 'later', I was cornered. I had been resolved for some time to reveal to these men my true form in hope that they could release me. Also by this time my suit was smelling discomforting and I suspected that wild projectile vomiting would not cause these men to handle me with care.  
  
I sat on the knoll, where I was cornered and began to remove the headpiece of my suit.  
  
It would not come off!!!  
  
I pulled and pulled at the head piece, yet it would not and could not be removed. In my seeming moment of off-balance-ness they grabbed hold of my spindly and seemingly underfed arm and leg appendages, and proceeded to carry me into their panel van.  
  
This caused me to be put on exibit in the local zoo. Prime 387 and d-gray came to visit me often in the two weeks that I had been at the zoo. FBI Agents also did some 'ovals' to see me. Agents Mulder and Scully also came to visit me. However, Agent Mulder thought I was the evil Cigarette smoking Yeti from under his bed, so he threw a stapler at me.  
  
fortunately and unfortunately his stray stapler hit me in the head and caused my wild beast suit to fall off. The unfortunate thing, however, was that the water that had been collecting in the suit had caused my sleek gray skin to go melty- as humans put it. So again in 'side' I looked like a new born bird spawn which had no beak.  
  
Also unfortunately all the patrons as the zoo who were watching the exhibit thought I was a moulting wild beast.  
  
If Agent Mulder was watching he would have known exactly what I am. However, also unfortunately he had run away after he had thrown the stapler in fear that if he angered the cigarette smoking beast under his bed Agent Spendor might end up naked in it. His bed I mean. Again.  
  
However as soon as the the zoo personel had entered my den to retrieve my 'pelt' I grabbed it and run through the closed gate.  
  
This luckily caused the civilians present at the zoo to run around in fear. I paused for a while to watch them run around in intricate circles, which would do a crop circle credit.  
  
After taking some notes I began to run out of the zoo with the 'pelt' under my arm, which had by this time returned to it's sleek grey colour and texture.  
  
Outside was parked our disguised ship, which was and is still a blimp. I was admitted entrance on the condition that I be subjected to a series of degrading tests and examinations.  
  
I did not particularly want to reside with the humans for a long time.  
END OF EPISODE THREE  
  
A/N. well, to the end again. it's early in the morning and I gotsta get to my beloved school (can you smell the effluent of sarcasm?) so I'll make this short. PLEASE REVIEW, you'll make my day. hell, don't even stop at one review, go crazy!! You can even tell me how inferior my intellect is compared to a 5 year old!! Or, how, if I were a fish, I would undoubtedly drown in water. and if I were a male shark- I'll leave it there. but heed the information above and please review. thanks.  
  
-kenobi. 


	4. implants

A/N:- hmm, sorry for taking so so long to update. I've had some commitments and school stuff. and on top of that writer's block. Anyhow, I wrote this in less than an hour so it's not really edited or anything. I don't know the meaning of edit. Never have. Anyway, enjoy, review, criticize, whichever, I just want some feedback.  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings distant and blissful-  
  
-father they are not 'blissful', don't assume, you ass! And they're not distant. hm.  
  
D-gray! ... They are blissful, for they know not of our existence, and ignorance is bliss as great past philosophers had put it.  
  
-father, great philosophers had also said that there is a legendary alchemist's chemical that allows long life and turns all base metals into gold.  
  
There is isn't there?  
  
-father, the shiolopter is not a chemical!! And more importantly, back to the point, the humans do not live in bliss, do you read or listen to their earth media?  
  
But one of their sovereigns just celebrated a birthday! and half the world don't know about it!!  
  
-father it's not that they don't know, they just don't care... can you see the difference? Anyway, get on with your report, Above Gray wasn't happy that you wasted half the yuin to argue in your last report. I have to say, I'm disappointed, I thought you knew how to operate the recorder.  
  
Fine, I'll start it then.  
  
Greetings impressionable earthlings. As established earlier I am Prime 388 and my present partner is Prime 387. For the earthlings who are somewhat confused to why I must state this in every field report, I must do so for the storage archive which will file this report, and sometimes the purpose of this reiteration of my file number is to remind Above Gray who I am as there are many Grays who sound similar.  
  
To get on with the dot, the purpose of this field report is to document our ploy to uncover the existence of 'aliens' on earth to Agents Mulder and Scully. The reason why we have been unable to do so previously is mainly centred on our ridiculous and often bad timing, like the time when we thought that Mulder and Scully would believe us if they were trapped, then they escaped and Scully thought of a perfect 'scientific' explanation.  
  
Explain this Scully! How can two people, seemingly unconscious, I might add, 'hallucinate' identical things without actually having witnessed them or through a suspended animation machine? All my hard work, to be torn down by the close minded psyche of the Scully mind! If she can love that fat, hairy, teeth-having oaf Mulder why can't she admit the existence of ALIENS? What's so difficult?!  
  
-father, ranting is not the purpose of this report post, talk about your dismal failure with the implants.  
  
It was not a complete failure!  
  
-really? That's not what the information says father. Even you reported it as a- I quote- 'discordinate, oafish blunder unsurpassed by the greatest fool in King Lear's kingdom.'  
  
Not on the report D-gray!  
  
-sorry father.  
  
*sigh*  
  
The Implants.  
  
Perhaps what I had neglected to mention to report auditors as I began was the fact that I have now an enlarged chest cavity as a punishment for my failure to connect the neck implant in many an abductee's neck to our existence.  
  
The neck implant is, I mean, was our greatest victory, it was a 'potato' -as humans put it- that was able to stimulate responses of paranoia. A silly nonsensical device, you may think, but this is not so. This device was most useful to us grays as we would implant it into pesky humans to not only track them but stimulate a sense of paranoia which would drive them away from our communal areas.  
  
We had implanted one into Scully, hoping that because of Mulder's indescribable sense of self-centeredness he would be led towards us, or at least a communal area to witness some of our activities, all the while figuring out that every time Scully felt paranoid there would be a strong sense of 'alien encounter' in the breathing gas.  
  
This ploy had worked magically, however, for a long period of time Scully was missing and in hospital due to a malfu nctioning part of the potato chip.  
  
-it's just 'chip' father. The potato is the staple diet of the Incas.  
  
Oh. Well, the malfunctioning chip caused a malfunction of Agent Scully's cells. For a long while we thought we had caused her cancer. We had not, although that may have caused Mulder to search harder and find us.  
  
Sometimes, I ask Prime Gray why we don't just suddenly walk out in public to expose the existence of aliens. He seemed unphased by the question and replied that-  
  
-you're an idiot.  
  
No, he replied that it was because the humans might start to panic and some grays would conclude that if we could walk out into the street and expose our own existence then we could also dominate their culture and kick their children as they kick us- when we are disguised as other things which are not grays.  
  
Anyway, the chip seemed to work fine for a while before Agent Scully was admitted into the hospital. Personally with all her scars I am amazed that even with 'cancer' she had managed to escape being infected by golden staff. This was the same strain that we released into that hospital previously in an undocumented attempt to eradicate Diana Fowley #3347. Needless to say, the 'golden staff' infection hadn't solved our problem.  
  
-father, the implant.  
  
Yes, the implant. With Scully in the hospital, Mulder overcame his selfishness and turned his negative energy into a crusade to find a cure for Agent Scully by trying to find the manufacturers and therefore antidote for the implant.  
  
This led him to the store house that we had prepared. This store-house was our purpose, if Mulder had looked closely he would have found all that he ever wanted to prove about our existence, from the first great landing of Beyond Gray and a linear timeline of his descendants through to Above Gray.  
  
Anyway, The chip in the box that he found was supposed to refer him to a bogus company that we had set up to lead him to us. This was where the prodigious plan failed. On closer inspection of the chip it had seemed that we had forgotten to remove the identification of the American government and replace it with our own.  
  
Therefore All we managed to prove to Agent's Mulder and Scully was that there is a definite government conspiracy taking place.  
  
On finding out that we had failed our mission again, the Shadow President of America and Above Gray were not pleased and requested in none too nice terms for me to get an implant myself for a month.  
  
As it turns out, I have obviously gotten the directory mixed up again and received a different implant from the one that I had intended.  
  
The grays refuse to let me exchange this one awkward moving 'breast'.  
  
END OF EPISODE 4.  
  
A/N:- so what did you think? A complete load of rubbish? I think you can kinda Skip chapter 4 and 5 because I'm writing these now, personally I think I've lost my sense of funny humour. Even the blatant 'man slips on banana peel' isn't funny, it's crossed over to 'man sidesteps to avoid banana peel and falls into manhole', stupid irony.  
  
Anyway, review, please.  
  
-kenobi. 


	5. out the door

A/N: Sorry to anyone who was reading this and wondering why it took me so, so long to upload any of my rubbish. anyhows, the reason is that I've been a bit busy and much stressed, and unlike many writers who release stress through prose, I bottled up, and have yet to release. but here it is. In all it's rubbish. enjoy and don't forget to criticize (happy reviews are also welcome. remember the faster I get a few reviews the faster I post the next chappie- which is better, I think, and it's already written.)  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings earthlings, as previously documented-  
  
-Father, they already know that, just get on with the report!  
  
*clears throat and coughs*  
  
As previously documented, I am Prime 388 and my partner is Prime 387. We, along with a wide variety of other grays have been commissioned to prove -in the most devious ways- that extra terrestrials have coexisted for nearly a millennia.  
  
Agent Mulder has been the most successful candidature for the mass revelation in our mission so far, however all we have as yet managed to prove to those around him is that he may be slightly clinically insane, and is prone to follow the slightest hint of a discovery, which has enabled him to be fooled countless times over by the colonists.  
  
-father, I'll be gone for a while... Father!  
  
I heard you D-gray! Just hold on for a while, while I turn the recorder off and I'll leave with you.  
  
*click*  
  
"Alright. So, -Help, I'm trying to make small talk here- this hallway is pretty long isn't it?  
  
-Yes, father.  
  
*uncomfortable silence*  
  
"So, D-gray, I know you're growing up at an alarmingly fast rate...  
  
-All grays do father, what's your point?  
  
"nothing...  
  
-Father did you know that Prime 17 has just been removed from the gray-an hierarchy?  
  
"And about time too, at least I'll be promoted to become Prime 387... Prime 17 was a slow fool anyway.  
  
-um, actually father, that position has already been offered, so there will be no change.  
  
"To whom?!  
  
-me...  
  
I am down on my knees bawling-  
  
"Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!! how can this be?  
  
-um father,  
  
"you don't have a father! Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!  
  
-there are people watching...  
  
we had already reached the end of the hallway, and apparently in my frustration and disappointment, I had failed to notice... at least that is what Prime 17-to be- tells me. I am now convinced that Above Prime has given her the position and a possible matter transforiton to humiliate me further.  
  
"being as you are my daughter...  
  
I whisper quietly to her as we are now in gray thoroughfare.  
  
"Do you want to swap?  
  
-what father? No way!  
  
"Fine. Cow.  
  
I mutter as she departs for a course to become the ultimate Prime 388 spy-er, and I search for Prime 387.  
  
387: What's wrong? she asks me as soon as I enter her leaving chamber in the fifth quadrant of the mothership.  
  
388: *sniffle*  
  
She's becoming Prime 17.  
  
387: Oh, already knew that, you're sorry to lose her aren't you?  
  
388: No, I wanted a promotion... What?! She's going to leave? But whose going to wax my feet? And clean our house-ing?  
  
*Wails*  
  
387: '88, you did all that remember? Stop wailing, your high-pitched splatter hurts my sensitive skin!!  
  
388: But I never waxed my feet!!! *wails* Only once... in that place, wait no that makes it twice... no three... *wails* She didn't do anything for me!!  
  
387: I didn't mean your feet, I meant hers you oaf... and if you waxed yours properly last week's embarrassing situation wouldn't have occurred! You know, Above Prime wasn't pleased when you got stuck in his office because your feet were badly waxed... and then you got stuck to him, legs are hard to grow '88! You're lucky that you didn't get removed from the hierarchy for that!  
  
388: That was not my fault *sniffles* I had to grow a leg too. That's why you hadn't seen me for three days.  
  
387: it took you three days?  
  
388: no only 72 hours!  
  
She smirks (as only a gray can smirk) at me and I cower in re... in fear  
  
*cringe* I don't like to think of myself in those words.  
  
388: no work today? well, I should be off then...  
  
I turn around and push the door in a vain attempt to leave Prime 387's quarters. The seal does not respond to the *push* command. My head and hand are melded into the panels until Prime 387 feels compassionate enough to command the seals to release me.  
  
388: please release me... please?  
  
387: just go.  
  
I melded into the seal from her quadrant and out into the fifth quad hallway and proceeded to the main gray thoroughfare. Feeling silly at again being the last gray to know what is going on.  
  
By the time I get back to my windy little alcove D-gray- or should I say Prime 17-to-be- is already there. Looking as apologetic as a gray can look I guess. Maybe she wants to swap.  
  
"Are you ready to swap?  
  
-No, Father!! I have to inform you that Above Prime has mentioned that I move out of your abode and into my own.  
  
"Fine, leave me to my depression and misery- and other depressing stuff!! You don't care about me anymore!!  
  
-Father, grays don't get depressed. We can't, not really anyway.  
  
"But you don't care about me in my *dramatic sigh* frail dotage. Hm!  
  
-Yes Father. But I must go now. Maybe we should meet later?  
  
"No, *dramatic sigh* I need some time, Hm, I'll visit your new fancy-nancy quadrant when the time is right.  
  
-Yes, Father.  
  
She leaves through the door. For the past times that she has lived with me as my D-gray the door has never once not obeyed her commands. That mutyabi door! I should finish my report.  
  
I fumble around for the recorder and I realise that I have left it on for the whole day and that it has captured every thought that I have had today. I will finish it off however.  
  
"This week, I, Prime 388, feel that there is no need to report the non- findings and proofs that Prime 387 and myself have led Agent's Mulder and Scully to. Only that the most significant thing that has happened this week is that my previous and only D-gray has been directly promoted to Prime 17 and is at the beginning stages of her potential glory. And that I, as her father gray, am proud of her. One day she may listen to this (probably now as she is spying on me) and know.  
  
END OF EPISODE FIVE.  
  
Well? What do you think? Good, bad, ugly? Should I be crucified? Did you enjoy it? Did it inspire you? Make you laugh, make you cry? Yes, no? Well, doesn't matter, I only half care (I'm only kidding!! I do care!), anyhow, review.. Please?  
  
-kenobi. 


	6. what's love got to do with it?

A/N: hi, for whomever is reading this. sorry that it took me so long to upload. I've just been a wee bit distracted. and I kinda forgot (sorry. or am I?) anyhow, enjoy. holler if you've got any problems. and by that I mean review.  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY  
  
Greetings earthlings, and fellow Grays. I, as you all know am Prime 388 and my partner is Prime 387. We, the grays, are here to ensure that agent Mulder continues to believe that extra terrestrials exist. So far in our missions we have failed miserably.  
  
Today, I have just come to the realisation that love only exists on the planet Earth. I told Prime 387 and she said that I was stupid and that everybody knew that love only existed on planet Earth.  
  
Just before dinner time I told Prime 2 and he said that I was a pathetic, perverted arse-wipe. I didn't know what an 'arse-wipe' was so I asked Prime 2 what an 'arse-wipe' was and he said that anyone who didn't know that love only existed on the planet Earth was an arse-wipe.  
  
At about 2 earth minutes before dinner actually started I went around telling everyone that I used to be an 'arse-wipe' and I also told everyone that didn't know that they were arse-wipes too. I don't think that they were to impressed to hear that they were arse-wipes because I had a whole bunch of grays piled on top of me. It was very uncomfortable. I told them that Prime 2 told me that everyone who did not know that love only existed on planet Earth was an arse-wipe. Unfortunately for Prime 2 the other grays had spotted him crawling towards his office. They were on to him like a hungry pack of fish, as humans put it, I think.  
  
All the Grays had settled down and were waiting for their dinner, by the look on their faces I think that they would have prefered to eat Prime 2 instead.  
  
Prime 1 entered the dining room. He sat down and looked at turn to all of us, then he asked me if I had had any good ideas for agents Mulder and Scully. I told him about my 'love' story and he answered by saying that he didn't know about love only existing on Earth. I told him the only thing I could have told him at that moment.  
  
I told him that he was an arse-wipe. Prime 1 stopped eating and just stared at me. Prime 2 had spat his food half way across the table in astonishment.  
  
I did the right thing again and I gave that credit to Prime 2. Prime 1 was still astounded. So I told him more clearly. I said "Prime 2 said that 'anyone that does not know that love only exists on Earth is an arse- wipe.'"  
  
Prime 1 suddenly jerked into action again. He told Prime 2 that he had to eat 'ausi mite' for at least one meal everyday, every year for ten years.  
  
So, Prime 387 and I went in our mission for love.  
  
First we put them both in a situation where they no doubtedly had to see each other in 'different light'. I told Prime 387 about this thought. She slapped me. I know now that she was annoyed at me for having this thought.  
  
Agents Mulder, in this episode, saw agent Scully half naked. Note that it was not my idea to have that moron killer who escaped from our gene vats to stamp everyone -whether it was going to kill them or not- with mosquito bites. At least it almost worked. Only if agent Mulder hadn't told her that they were only mosquito bites.  
  
So, we had another attempt. We put them in a big dome and it was quiet enough and in the middle of nowhere. The only problem was, that Prime 87, who is now Prime 798, forgot to turn off the bee's warnings systems, so agents Mulder and Scully walked in, five seconds later a swarm of crazy alien virus bees attacked them.  
  
After that incident we followed agents Mulder and Scully back to their apartments, not long later agent Scully went to pay agent Mulder a visit at his apartment.  
  
All we had to do now was create a smoochy, atmosphere. It worked. We were watching from the holes in the ceiling as Mulder and Scully walked out from his apartment.  
  
They leaned closer and closer together and agent Scully had already began her 'kissing agent Mulders fore-head' masquerade. Now it was time for the grand finale of the night, as they were edging closer and closer to each other we watched and I had almost stopped breathing because of all the excitement... But then that damn pathetic bee that Prime 77, who is now Prime 999, forgot to remove, stung agent Scully.  
  
I was so annoyed that I started to silently bang the floor of the ceiling, which happened to make it collapse which sent me crashing towards the ground. Fortunately for me agent Mulder was in a rush to get to his telephone, so he didn't realise that I was in front of him so he accidentally kicked me then he accidentally stepped on me resutling me with about fifty broken ribs.  
  
Prime 387 got down from the ceiling after agents Mulder and Scully had left the building which seemed to me about a decade later. She carried me back to the mother ship that was still disguised as a blimp.  
  
The next day, I woke up in the 'grays emergency' room. Prime 387 was sitting at my bed side. I tried to smile, but I haven't got a very big mouth and I wasn't in human form so I couldn't I just lay there on the bed looking like an idiot. Whatever that is.  
  
Prime 387 told me that when I was born, the gray doctor slapped my mother because I was so ugly and pathetic. I told her that the gray doctor did indead slap my mother.I asked her how she knew and she fell over laughing her wig off. That's how humans say it, I think.  
  
Anyway, I still don't get it. Why is it so funny that the doctor slapped my mother? I don't understand it at all.  
  
This morning I walked into Prime 1's office and I told him what Prime 387 had told me. He didn't take it very well. He stood up and he told me not to insult him or his mother. I said that it was true and he chased me around the mother ship all day.  
  
Remind me never to tell anyone that story of my life.  
  
END OF EPISODE SIX.  
  
A/N: well? Good, bad, ugly? Tell me. pweassse? -Kenobi. 


	7. the colonists

A/N: Well, here it is folks… enjoy and review *wink*  
  
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY.  
  
Greetings earthlings and fellow grays. Today, my assignment is to right a recount. This recount, is about what happened in the episode 'two fathers' I think.  
  
The mission that day was to make sure that agents; Mulder and Scully made it to the warehouse for our appearance.  
  
We had a whole band of retarded grays who were going to be our mascots. I led them. But I wasn't actually there because I had the measles and so I watched from the roof of the warehouse.  
  
Prime 38 and 39 were in charge of making sure agents Mulder and Scully arrived on time to see us. But as usual we failed.  
  
It all began two weeks ago, when we first heard that the colonist aliens were going to meet the syndicate in the warehouse and exchange Cassandra Spendor for their lives. We also heard that the Ciggarette Smoking Man was rather reluctant.  
  
So, being us, and having all the advantage on the colonist aliens we devised a plan to get them out of our way so that we could show agents Mulder and Scully that grays exist.  
  
We decided on kidnapping all the colonist aliens. So, how did we kidnap the colonist aliens? We decided to lure them to a place that we were hiding armed with water pistols -they're not very fond of water. We chose to lure them there with floating plastic bags.  
  
When they had fallen into our trap, which was a big hole in the ground we marched them back to our mother ship, which is still disguised as a blimp.  
  
They saw our ship and they said that it looked terrific. I told them that it was a blimp and that we were not going to let them go until we had finished our mission.  
  
They just laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I took out my water pistol and the other grays did too. The colonist aliens shut up immediately. I have decided that I am very fond of water pistols. I sprayed the ground near the leader's feet, he shrunk away from me, and the others, then, he cowered in behind his fellow colonists who smacked him on the head. He bit their fingers off knowing that they would grow again in a few days.  
  
Anyway, back to the plan. Prime 38 and 39 were already gathering agents Mulder and Scully, for the night. But then Diana fowley showed up for no apparent reason.  
  
By the way, I have been meaning to ask Prime 1 and 2, "Didn't we shoot her?!" Anyway, she's a little wuss and she ran away, when the Rebels came. She was in her little blue sedan.  
  
Anyway, we locked the colonists aliens in a little room on our mother ship which is still diguised as a blimp.  
  
Meanwhile Prime 38 and 39 are setting up agents Mulder and Scully's rental cars so that they make it to the warehouse.  
  
I sat in the opening to the warehouse in my human form and I started to laugh. At that moment Prime 387 walked in and told me to shut up. I did.  
  
We waited for the people to turn up. They all did. I gave them a signal and the grays did their little act that I made and edited and directed. I'm proud. They did a very good and believable job.  
  
I looked around the warehouse, but I still couldn't see any signs of agents Mulder or Scully. I began to panic.  
  
Then when I thought that I couldn't possibly get worse, Miss bitch-face, Diana Fowley walked, or drove as she did in to the warehouse.  
  
Then as if to save the day, the Rebels came and began to torch everyone and Miss bitch-face, Diana Fowley escaped in her car. A little, blue sedan. That Bitch!  
  
REASONS FOR OUR FAILURE  
  
Prime 38 and 39 thought that it was tomorrow and so they rigged the rentals for tomorrow. Of course tomorrow, which is now today they go to the warehouse and they are like the last people to get there.  
  
Agents Mulder and Scully did not arrive last night to see us introduce ourselves.  
  
Damn and we did peace signs in twenty-three galactical ways.  
  
Diana Fowley came.  
  
Prime 17, who is the most retarded gray in the history of retarded grays, fell over during production and was replaced by Prime 15, who couldn't even act. During the real thing, he fell over while trying to re-enact the peace sign from the amazons on the planet Azaris.  
  
The Rebels came and torched all the would-be witnesses that I wanted agents Mulder and Scully to interview.  
  
That damn ciggarette smoking bastard didn't come.  
  
Suddam Hussein knocked on the warehouse door, and we almost had to stop productions. Then that man in the white suit escorted him back to a white van. I remember them calling him Madam Towa. Well at least he answers to that now.  
  
After this little masquerade, the colonists came on to us with pins. We successfully fought them all off ten to one, single handedly with water pistols, they have a weakness. Ha ha.  
  
If you're wondering about the Suddam Hussein guy, I'll explain it later.  
  
END OF EPISODE SEVEN  
  
A/N: do you notice how much I *like* Diana Fowley? Oh, also, if you want to stop reading this rubbish, I suggest that now's the time… I think the next few chapters are mostly Fowley character bashing… I hate the bi-atch! Anyhows, don't forget to review *smiles sweetly*.  
  
-kenobi. 


	8. in the past

A/N : views and ideas in this piece may not represent the views and ideas of the author. Bearing that in mind, this is supposed to be funny. So, lets just all forget who we are and just have a laugh at ourselves and each other. If you are offended, here's some advice; "Go make your own country and disconnect smiles ciao."

IN THE EYES OF A GRAY

EPISODE 8

Greetings earthlings and fellow grays. I am Prime 388 and my partner is Prime 387. Our prime purpose for being on Earth is to help agents Mulder and Scully prove that aliens of all sorts are in fact, real.

Today, I'm looking into the past.

In the past we have tried many methods of creating something that agents Mulder and Scully would listen to and believe.

Once, we went back through time to create a president to tell agents Mulder and Scully that aliens really do exist. It was after we created President Nixon that we realised that agents Mulder and Scully weren't even old enough to understand yet.

Once we sent Prime 7 to dress like President Clinton, then when in the middle of his speech he tried to pull the mask off, but it would not budge and later we had a very hard time explaining to the public why President Clinton was attempting to yank his head off. we were of course in human form.

In the past, we have starred in movies to help agents Mulder and Scully 'believe'. We are in one of agent Mulder's favourites, 'Attack from Mars'. Apparently the directors said that we were too normal lookingand so we had to superglue huge, heavy and vein-y domes to our heads that took us a whole week to take off. And we were in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. The directors thought that we looked too ugly, so we had to wear stupid, glumpy and sweaty space suits.

We have also made independent movies, such as 'The in, in tapestry' and 'Shit faced 1' and 'Shit faced 2', only no one ever heard of them and everyone who did was immediately admitted to a hospital and given an unsuccessful brain transplant before agents Mulder and Scully could interview them. Only one of the people survived the 'brain transplant', which as we later discovered was conducted by AD Skinner. The man survived but then the next day, he disappeared when he fell down a mysterious looking hole, which we later discovered was also dug out by AD Skinner.

So, after all our failed missions we created Suddam Hussein from our gene vats. He was supposed to become the president of some country then tell the world about us. When we were finished with him we sent our creation out to the world. He never came back. Something went wrong in his circuitry and he started to talk in code from then on. About half a year later, he developed multiple personality syndrome, and started to call himself 'poop-y face', 'madam Towa', and a host of other names. Not long after that he was admitted to a hospital for the criminally insane because he shot his right hand man then went and bragged about it all day in the name of 'Madam Towa'. The country went through an almost lifelong search to find a 'Madam Towa', but had no such luck. So they went back to Saddam to ask him who the hell 'Madam Towa' was, so he told them that he was Madam Towa. That was also when they found out he had MPS. So they immediately admitted him.

Before Mulder and Scully, we went to Adolf Hitler to tell him to tell the world. Although our interest in him quickly faded, because on the night we proceeded to greet him, he thought we were the people who played around on his make-up table. The next night we went back with orders from Prime 1 with orders to tell him the truth about us. When we told him, the big wuss who wasn't afraid of anything pissed his pants.

Ancient Egypt is a very good example of gray workings. I mean, it was me who created the designs for those pyramids, I even made the name up. Then those pathetic mongulated pathetic humans who looked like apes, wait that was the time of the dinosaurs and they were apes. Anyway, back to Egypt, it was my idea and they took all the credit. And do you want to know what its held up by? Well, I refuse to tell, lest you will gain all the credit of my hard work also.

And do you know how killer bees were made? Originally we had given humans the right formula to cure all diseases, then when we were faxing them the message, a nine year old Diana Fowley screwed the message and continued to send the fax. And that's how Earth got its killer bees.

In the past we trialed the area of entertainment and we formed a cocktail of quartets. They involved Prime 9, 90, 378 and me, Prime 388. We went to get registered but we were kicked out for having the most dull name 'The Grays are Here' in the history of bands having dull names. About two weeks later we had gone back with the name 'The Bald Guys Called Grays are Coming, wait, wait, wait, they're here'. We got kicked out again. We finally gave up after about two years, but during that time we came up with names such as; 'come to the grays', 'the grays love ya', 'believe in the grays', 'gather round and sing with the grays', 'crowded grays', 'love the grays', 'come with the grays', 'the grays will move ya', 'grays', 'grays-some', 'the grays are gonna hit you, but not very hard I don't think', 'play with the grays', 'be one with the grays', 'party with the grays', 'call out to the grays', 'touch the grays', 'have a photo with the grays', 'meet the grays', 'think of the grays, 'cos they're all around ya', and 'the Gray-tles'. We were fired at for some of those suggestions.

But now in the nineties we have been focusing most of our attentions to Mulder and Scully.

END OF EPISODE EIGHT

A/N : Lots of inaccuracies, i know!! but i wrote this in the nineties and have no heart to change it! Plus I was at a stage when i liked to believe that I knew everything and could comprehend all the things that were going on around me. I've realised that this is not the case, nor could it ever be.

review?


	9. Diana reprisal

AN: dont own anything and not getting paid for this but do feel free to send me gifts of money wink wink nudge nudge ... this would be ... ahh.... for .. ahh... my money making scheme... not for .. ahh... yeah :D

enjoy

IN THE EYES OF A GRAY

EPISODE NINE

Greetings earthlings and fellow grays. I am Prime 388 and my partner is Prime 387. Our main purpose to be here on planet Earth is to help agents Mulder and Scully discover that aliens do exist. So far all of our attempted missions have failed. But the 'force is still with us'.

I am Prime 388, for our species, the grays, my superiors say that I have a very big mouth.

Yesterday, I unfortunately proved this to everyone when I asked Prime ! and Prime 2 why Diana Fowley wasn't dead yet. The Primes got really hyped up and threw a report at me. They told me that it would answer all my questions.

It was a 'Diana Fowley' article. The Primes said that to make sure that I had read it, I would have to do another report on the 'Diana Fowley' incident and that it would have to include when she came about, who's idea it was to make a 'Diana Fowley', how many times it took us to get her programming right, why we decided to kill her last year, why she's a stupid 'bitch', and any extra information I might come upon.

I left the office castrating myself for having such a big mouth.

So my report begins.

Diana Fowley:

Diana Fowley was one of the things that had escaped one of our gene vats. She was a test trial for a 'Dana Scully' project that went by unsuccessfully because we didn't have any of her DNA. So, Dana Scully was unsuccessful and we had accidentally created a Diana Fowley. Because she had escaped we have figured that becuase she could escape from us that she was almost invincible. From then we decided to take her in as one of our own because we did after all create her. Even though it was in a Frankensteinesque way. When we were around her we had to be in our human forms so that she would not be able to betray us if anyone ever broke the code to her genetic build up, like those Russians who know everything.

The creator of 'Diana Fowley' is now dead but he was a great man, or gray, he created many things such as the disguise of our mother ship, which by the way still looks like a damn blimp, the first flying saucer, which crashed killing half the population of the grays in 1013. The great gray, was Sir Edward Gray, Prime 3987, who was a great inventor who was hinted to become Prime 1 the day that he died in an unfortunate accident in which he fell out of the mother ship and was mistaken for a flying plate and shot at.

To make 'Diana Fowley' it took us 7890 times to get her right. The first time we attempted the 'Diana Fowley' our programmer made a mistake, which was unfixable, so we disposed of her. The second and third times the Diana Fowley developed an ageing problem, needless to say she disposed of herself those times. During those experiences we encountered diseases such as the elephant man disease, the shit happens syndrome, the cows are coming disease and the extra idiotic syndrome. Most of us wish we had stopped with her.

There are many reasons why we attempted to kill the 'Diana Fowley' prototypes.

The first reason is: because she touched agent Mulder and made agent Scully cry, this doesnt include the time she touched his man berries. Although that was distressing too.

The second reason is: because she came back when we gave her direct orders not to.

The third reason is: because we saw the future and she sides with the colonists and works for the Cigarette Smoking Man in his pathetic schemes.

The fourth reason is: we saw the future and she tries to get onto agent Mulder in ... which is, come to think of it, really disgusting... He's so hairy!

The fifth reason is: we just simply did not need the 'Diana Fowley' so we needed to dispose of her so that she wouldn't interfere with our plans, which leads onto the last reason.

The last reason is: we did not like her anymore, because she was not interesting, she was just disgusting.

The reason why the 'Diana Fowley' is such a bitch is that when she was made we tested her and we were supposed to change some of the programing in her system and when we came around to doing that the bitch ran away, and when we found her we were so overjoyed that nobody had found her and we were too busy celebrating and it just slipped out of our minds at the time, and when we had remembered it was too late to change the programing because if we did then it would have killed her. we should have done it. We later found out what the problem was. The problem with the 'Diana Fowley' was that it had to much bitch and slut mixed in with the genetic coding in too large proportions.

Other information about the 'Diana Fowley' is that the original reason that she was sent to 'meet' agent Mulder was to help him discover the x-files. The unfortunate consequence was that after some time she believed that agent Mulder was her play thing. A while after that we decided that enough was enough and we hid her in a dark hole somewhere.

This morning I went to Prime 1's office to show him. He said that it was okay. I asked him why he said 'okay' since 'ok' is only two letters put together to make it soudn like 'okay'. He just looked at me and laughed. He explained to me that 'okay' meant taht he finished product was good or to say it when you tell someone that they had been given the go ahead on something.

This afternoon I was walking down the corridor with Prime 387, she asked me why I had not been around for the past few days, I told her about the Diana Fowley assignment and she said that she hoped that I had learnt something from that experience. I told her that I had learnt something from that experience truthfully. We continued walking. Some time later while we were walking we crossed Prime 2. He wasn't looking that happy. I guessed he had just eaten his daily meal of 'ausi-mite'.

He stopped to talk to me. I asked him if he was 'okay'. He drew a blank and told me that I was a stupid idiot for putting two of the letters of the alphabet together to make a new word. As if coming to my rescue, Prime 1 walked around the corner to greet us and he told Prime 2 that he had found out that the humans used the word 'okay' very often. Prime 387 picked up easily, but Prime 2 still drew a blank. We used the word a lot that day, Prime 2 said it was a stupid word and Prime 1 said that the humans made it up and the humans are not stupid and Prime 2 said that humans could be stupid and pathetic for all he cared. Prime 1 told him that he could not take a simple joke and he ran to his head quarters to start crying. A distant part of me felt a pang of sympathy for him but then I remembered all those times he had made fun of me and the sympathy faded away. And I knew to have the most fun that I could get away with when I have the chance.

END OF PART NINE

that was shocking... sorry, but you'll live.

If you care, drop us a review :D

The big crazy one liner? castration... he didnt really castrate himself.... oww.


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